Astrological Dissection of Jonas Brothers
March 6, 2009 by Luca
Filed under Famous Crackheads
If you can’t tell those Jonas brothers apart please don’t feel bad. Neither can we. We finally decided to break down the identities of three enigmas behind one of the greatest tween obsessions of this century and beyond.
The Virgo Pioneer: Nick Jonas (born September 16, 1992). See, all the success was supposed to be his. He was the one who was quietly crooning all his life and working hard for that solo record contract until the label noted that his two-back up singing brothers have exciting personalities and nice senses of style. But like any congenial Virgo, he didn’t object and continued to thrive within larger working environment. We bet his peaceful Cancer Mars didn’t help matters. He’s also a huge purist and advocate of group’s abstinence from drugs, alcohol, and cigarettes. Because, he has a Taurus Moon (like Kevin), Nick is openly not afraid to preach those beliefs.
The Mysterious Scorpio: Kevin Jonas (born November 5, 1987). Kevin is not just the “old” one, he’s like totally mysterious too. But we have some clues into his dark and exciting personality. His favorite game is Monopoly so he loves to count group’s earnings. We know that for a fact, since his Jupiter is in power-hungry Aries. His favorite actor is Aquarius James Dean so he’s like a complete rebel, and his favorite sport is badminton which might mean that he secretly wants to live in Indonesia or China where that game is most popular. His Libra Mars makes Kevin the steadiest member of the group and the similar moon and planet positions to Nick means that they get along.
The Leo Scene-stealer: Joe Jonas (born August 15, 1989). We’re not sure just how well he hits those notes or instruments, but he sure knows how to use those hair products and how to attract flashbulbs. But every self-respecting Leo should! He dates famous girls like Taylor Swift (Sagittarius) and Camilla Belle (Libra) and has the largest number of fan e-mails because of it. Joe can’t help it. He loves to groom himself and massage his own vanity meter. His Aquarius moon makes all his efforts very worthy, but the rest of his chart (like Mercury, Venus, and Mars) all lies in Virgo making Joe a self-loving and conservative perfectionist. This fact might also strain a relationship with his brothers in the near future.
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